Friday, July 21, 2006


Not the sharpest tool in the box - Idiot #16

A veritable feast of idiots today but as usual only one will get the prize. First up is the three handbag lady that sat next to me on the train home. Being male I have no idea what is in a woman's bag but I am always amazed when I see people with the need for two or three of them. If it is a one off thing then okay, but that fact that this lady was using three fairly sturdy and expensive looking bags suggests that this was a regular occurrence. Surely it must be easier to use one big bag than try to juggle with three smaller ones? However this is such a regular occurrence out here on the suburban express that it is not going to win the prize today.

The second nomination is to the scumbags that leave their used chewing gum on the seat back on the train. It is repellent and just annoys the hell out of me. I bet they'd get the hump if I wiped bogies on their sofa's. I think they should be shot... Out of a bloody giant cannon over Beachy head for public amusement.

Finally it is today's victor. Last night I rushed home early (although with my train cancelled rushed is probably the wrong word) to attend my sons school open day. Whilst they we inspected some of the work he has done. Being a boy of a certain age number one son likes dinosaurs. A lot of his work involved pictures of dinosaurs and writing about what the pictures are of.

One specific picture had a drawing of a spinosaurus on it. Alongside was the following piece of text:

"This is a spinosaurus, it has sharp teeth"

A basic sentence, but my son is only five. His spelling of spinosaurus was okay as he has spent many hours looking at dinosaur reference books and he has a good memory. However the usual practice in his school is that if a child spells a word incorrectly then the teacher or LSA ( essentially a trained helper in the classroom) writes the correct spelling above it.

In this piece of work the staff member (they usually initial the work they correct but in this case, wisely, they had chosen to remain anonymous) had corrected my son's spelling of sharp. Not a problem you would think until you look closely. My son had written the word like so:


The member of staff had written the 'correct' spelling above it:


At times like this I am glad that my wife is a teacher and will hopefully keep my son on the straight and narrow.

Today's Cull: You will be beaten to death with hardback copies of the Oxford English Dictionary. (What are the odds of me making a spelling mistake in this post I wonder?)

Vomitwatch update: I thought the sun might bleach it a bit but it seems to have caused some kind of chemical reaction as the vomit is now getting a brighter orange by the day.

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