Tuesday, July 18, 2006


Namby Pamby - Idiot #14

Today we have a pair of idiots. One of them is me. My life has been relatively idiot-free for a few days, but yesterday evening made up for lost time. With two possible nominations. The first was the fat guy in his forties belting down the path on a mini-motorbike. Unfortunately he didn't fall off and cause himself and his two wheeled lawnmower damage. I hate these bloody things with a vengeance. There are no use as a mode of transport and make loads of noise. The evolutionary backwater I live in has loads of them that come out of the cracks when the sun is out.

If I had my way (which rarely happens) I would issue members of the public with sticks to hit these dipsticks with as they ride past.

However this guy is not today's idiot. That reward is reserved for Mrs Loaf and I. Last night just before retiring to the boudoir I heard a yelp from the wife. She was being terrorised by a giant moth. This bugger had a wingspan like an albatross and the sense of direction of my mum. Being the big man in the house (till my son grows a bit), I entered the fray only to have the thing launch itself at me like a missile. I will admit I screamed like a girl, I know not why.

Eventually we managed to get the thing out of the house. Well I say we, but I mean the wife. She trapped it with a very small mug and then with the aid of a book several times thicker than it needed to be she took it outside and released it. The moth had one final surprise in store though. It refused to leave the mug and so the wife had a look inside the thing. The moth decided this was the right time to vacate the mug straight into her. More girly screaming ensued, this time from a more appropriate gender.

Today's Cull: you will be pelted to death with mothballs

Hmmmm! - our domestic paradise has been invaded by spiders - of the little body and very long leg type - madam is a'feared of them ! screams from bathroom - there's one in the bath etc - getting very tired of gently catching them in a glass and putting them quietly outside - the next one gets stomped on !
Spiders are worse than moths. Spiders move slowly enough most of the time so you can see their malevolent looks. I prefer the vacuum cleaner method for removing them.
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